“New beginnings are often disguised
as painful endings.”
Ever since I was a young child, I have battled with being overweight. It was nothing new to me. Most of the time it wasn’t that big of a deal. However, a lot of the time I wished I was skinnier, but who of us doesn’t? I had tried many times to lose weight by eating less or exercising, and sometimes both at the same time. Nothing had ever clicked for me though, even when I knew that it had to be a whole lifestyle change. That is indeed a big part of losing weight, and should never be discounted, but it isn’t the whole battle. There is a big mental change that needs to happen in order for us to realize that it is a permanent lifestyle change, no matter what happens or what we do from that point forward. What ultimately brought me to choose to do it now and got me going on the best journey of my life were my three big wake up calls.
Wake-up call #1: Flying cross country to California and needing a seatbelt extender both ways in March 2014.
Talk about embarrassing! It wasn’t only the seatbelt extender aspect either, it was also the fact that I felt as if I were overflowing in the plane seat. It was very uncomfortable, to say the least, simply because I was afraid to encroach on my neighbors’ space. The flight back home was an overnight flight and I was so tired. I had to rest my head on the seat in front of me in order to go to sleep. That sounds about as restful as it actually was. It’s hard enough for me to sleep while flying but to be leaning forward, against the seat in front of me in order to sleep without risking leaning to the side, made it that much more difficult. Flying gave me the wake up call that I had not realized how big I had gotten in the past couple years. I was horrified! I knew I needed to do something to lose weight and started to get myself on board with walking a lot and cutting back on my dinner portions over the summer to lose about ten pounds. I thought that would make a world of difference at the time.
Wake-up call #2: Returning to the hectic life I led, rarely coming first, and hitting rock bottom by applying for social security disability because I truly felt I needed it.
A lot of things happened between the time I returned from my trip and the time that I actually started my weight loss journey. I feel as if these events helped cement the fact that I needed to do something about my weight and wellbeing in general. Shortly after I returned, my brother took an agreed upon trip to California as well, while I took care of his two young sons. I had at least one of the boys the whole eight days he was gone, but most of the time I had both. Then in April that year, my mom had her second major surgery. It was scheduled and we had been expecting it for a couple months, but surgeries are stressful and difficult for everyone. This surgery was on her neck and her last one had been on her back, so it was also new territory for us. We all got through it and her healing process wasn’t as extensive as we had thought it would be. Not long after her surgery, my brother ended up sick and in the hospital for a few days. That left me to take care of his boys again. This time it was unexpected and that much more stressful, especially after the previous events we had been through. Finally, in May I applied for Social Security disability. I had been considering it for years due to mental disorders, a joint problem, and some other issues that I had had for many years. I truly felt like I needed it at the time but knew it would be a long process. Only a couple weeks after applying, I started my weight loss journey. I had hit rock bottom, providing me with no choice but to work my way up from there!
Wake-up call #3: The big, dreaded, weigh-in!
We had gotten a double stroller after searching and searching for one, about five days before I started my journey. It was my way to take my nephews out for walks and get more exercise and activity in while I babysat them. It was also a step towards independence and even entertainment for all three of us! One evening, I just decided that enough was enough, and if I didn’t weigh-in right then, I probably would never start my weight loss journey. So I stepped on the scale and stood there staring at the weight I had reached, a whopping 309 pounds! That was the final push to get me started. I had vowed to myself to never get over three hundred pounds, yet there I was! I immediately joined SparkPeople, a weight loss support website that I had been a member of twice before, and plugged in all the information it asked for to set up a plan for me to lose weight. Then I eased into the healthier living journey of losing weight, cutting calories in a healthy way, adding in exercise, and starting to drink more water.
“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction
ends up being the biggest step of your life.
Tip toe if you must, but take the step.”
All of the things that happened following my return from my trip to California showed me that nothing was going to get better in my life if I didn’t make a decision to make my own life better. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it helped push me in the direction that I needed to go, to get to the mental place to lose weight and make it a lasting journey!